Tuesday, September 13, 2005

First Time for Everything....

I've never really tried this before, am curious how it will work. I'm just sad. On a molecular level, or a quantum level perhaps. Not sure which one is smaller. Science is not my muse.
Don't know why I should make it public. Don't know who will read this, and am not disclosing my identity, but I really don't have anyone to tell. No one that I feel I wouldn't undeservedly burden. I could start another one of my famous computer or handwritten personal journals, but am afraid someone would snoop.
It's not just current events, and maybe only part of it is clinical, but I find I don't know how to be happy any more accept for in very small scattered moments that I try to clutch to me. I'd string them together and wear them around my neck like pearls if I could. Moments are a bit more slippery than pearls.
So, if anyone finds me in my little isolated corner of the Webiverse and knows what I mean, I feel for you.

2 comments:

changeseeker said...

I found you, Clio. You don't have to be afraid. At some point, I decided that it's more scary to be scared than it is to be alive. I hope things feel better soon. Or at least someday.

Angel said...

I've read through this whole blog, and I do understand where you are coming from. I was in a relationship with a man who had many of the same problems your husband has, and I remember all too well what it was like.

Best wishes to you...and please, keep writing here. It's good therapy, not only for you, but for those who are reading what you have to say.

-Gwen