After he does or says something horrible it's usually stiff for a few days, and then as it passes further in to the past it gets more like normal. Which is to say, not great, but at least I don't have to concentrate to not break into tears every few minutes.
Every once in a while one of the things he said to me just breaks through me like a knife and punctures the semi-safety bubble that grows over time. I range between sadness and outrage. Everyone who knows anything about this wonders why I continue to put up with this.
Sometimes I don't know anymore.
Once, years ago, he used to make me very happy.
It's not perfect, but it's worth it.
About Me
- Clio
- I'm a full time adjunct history teacher, an avid reader and entertainment missionary, a devoted dog mom, running addict and evidently, blogger, enjoying the happiness of finally working at the entry level of a profession I enjoy and finding someone who cares about me.
3 comments:
Blogs are so great, because you can use them as your personal muse. I hope writing things down helps to sort them out in your life. I'm bookmarking your blog.
Thank you so much for commenting on my blog - I am so sorry to hear you are so sad. I do not know what to say that will make it better, but know that I am thinking of you.
--Katie
As you just read, I know the feeling. I think I hang on for that time when things used to be good. I don't think it's coming back. I hope you figure it out. We got together in 2001 and have been broken up for going on 4 years and I am still not over it. Good luck to you.
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