The Bird Bell Curve

The birds in my neighborhood are decidedly dumber than your average birds.

Exhibit A: Last summer I would be sitting in my living room minding my own business, reading on the couch or watching television. From time to time I would hear the chirping sound of birds and think to myself, "that really sounds close." I would think nothing of it for a while, until I would suddenly look up and notice my kitty. She would be sitting at my feet quietly, with a live bird perched in her mouth. This scenario happened to me several times last summer, and I believe happened to the Ratfink (my soon-to-be-ex-husband) once or twice as well.

After said kitty would appear with said bird, myself or Ratfink would grab the bird and release it out of doors before the cat or one of our dogs decided to kill the bird all over our new carpet. Eh, and I guess we were concerned for the bird's sake as well. We weren't sure if it was the same bird, but it was definitely the same species. Eventually, the bird did not make it out of the house and no bird reappeared in our house. Until today.

Exhibit B: I had just brought Chloe inside from her last bathroom break for the night and was talking to my mom on the phone. As we were talking I heard the familiar noise of my dog tearing through the house on a chase. My dog and my cat aren't really on the best of terms. I'm pretty sure that my dog can't understand why we haven't let her eat the cat already. I don't know how many times I've spied my black dog with a shockingly white clump of fur in her mouth. Point is, I assumed my dog was yet again chasing my poor cat.

I was wrong. I looked over and saw, instead of my black and white fuzzykins at the mercy of my pig-dog, but a small grey bird much like the one who I got to know personally last summer. Who, when I tore my dog away from it, promptly flew up my stairs.

"Great," I think, now I'm going to have a bird in my belfry! I'll never get it out!"

Luckily, fast reflexes and some minor plastic bag wrangling allowed me to get the birdie out the back door. It even flew away fairly normally into the night. Hopefully not to return on semi-regular intervals until its untimely death.

Exhibit C: The pidgeons that live in my spare-room window next to the window unit air conditioner keep coming back. I've sprayed any number of chemicals and scents on the window area, cleaned the window out of the nest weekly, and even (ashamedly) committed pidgeon-chick-icide. But that window must still be getting 4 stars in the Michelin guide, because there are no shortage of birds that want to live there.

Can you understand why I think that there must be a family of inbred sub-normal birds living in my neighborhood? Why and how do they keep sneaking into my house? Why do I encourage my animals not to kill them? (other than the obvious carpet-stains and possible digestive issues involved)