The Issue

Is money. I make far too little of it. I make about 250 dollars less than I need in a month to scrape by- and it will be about 350 more once the weather gets cold. I'm not saving any money, even for stuff like oil changes or quarterly hair cuts. I am working over fifty hours each week (usually mid fifties) and I still can't make ends meet. And I'm exhausted.

I got in a car accident. I slept through my alarm Sunday for half an hour. I don't wear anything but pj's and work uniforms these days. I don't feel like a real person. I worked an open shift (4:15-12:45) at SB, a close at the video store (5-12:15 a.m.) and then another open right in a row. There's a possibility I may have to do that three times next week. I don't have a day off this week.

I was planning on waiting it out another week at the video store, attempting one shift a week to make some extra money to help pay the bills, but the prospect of next week sleeping 3 hours about 3 or even 4 nights next week makes me think it is time to quit. Now, perhaps.

If only the house would sell, or if there were a date in sight that I would know it would be off my hands, I would not have to feel so bad about draining my savings while working my ass off.

I feel like I need permission to quit my second job. It's my responsibility to work- to make it all work. I keep telling myself that it's too much, that I'm not being weak.