New Mantra

There comes a time in every woman's life when, at least for a minute, she can admit to herself that the person she has completely devoted her every breath and effort does not deserve it. Her character is not determined by whether or not she leaves him, how long it takes to leave, or whether or not she lives the rest of her life in bittersweet denial, but how she changes the way she lives her life and the way she values herself and all the people in her world.

I am not done yet. As Buffy says in the series finale, "I'm cookie dough" and not yet cookies. However, I am trying to focus on something else.

People (namely, family members) keep telling me that I'll have a fresh start, a new life soon. They often fail to realize that that new life will not be reached from my parents' basement. I admit that my parents will probably treat me a little differently than when I was 19 and living at home the last time, but a 10:30 curfiew, asking permission to drive my own car, being required to attend church each Sunday, and being asked whether or not I was being a "good girl" each time I came home from a date are all house rules I am hoping that are long gone. Still, you might guess that the people who came up with these rules less than a decade ago could not have changed much. For instance, my mother freaked out completely last week when I didn't call her for a couple of hours one afternoon last week. I am also expected to call them when I get to my own home from anywhere so they know I'm safe. I should be thankful that my parents are concerned about me, but they are a tad overprotective.

Anyway, I don't have the new job, new condo, or new life yet, but I intend to accomplish those things one by one. I'm hoping I will have the first 2 and be in the process of the third by this time next year. I'm sure I'll let you all know.

I am beginning to get anxious about the two job interviews I had last week- neither one has called back this week although they both said that they would get back to me this week. No news isn't bad news, at least. I just loved the school I visited soooo much. I want the job very badly. And it's my turn. It's time for me to get some of that good karma that's around. I'm not a puppy kicker or anything else equally bad. It's time for something decent to land in my lap. Please?